Thursday, October 13, 2016

“If Ye Had Known Me” Elder Bednar

OCTOBER 2016 | “If Ye Had Known Me”
By Elder David A. Bednar
He declared: “For I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”We come to know the Savior as we do our best to go where He wants us to go, as we strive to say what He wants us to say, and as we become what He wants us to become. As we submissively acknowledge our total dependence upon Him, He enlarges our capacity to serve ever more effectively. Gradually, our desires align more completely with His desires, and His purposes become our purposes, such that we would “not ask that which is contrary to [His] will.”

"...that we would “not ask that which is contrary to [His] will." I was listening to this talk the other night and that phrase stood out to me. A few minutes later I got an email and little did I know I would have to exercise faith in this principle.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Alma 32

I've been reflecting on this passage, and my reflections aren't done yet.
Behold thy brother hath said, What shall we do?—for we are cast out of our synagogues, that we cannot worship our God.
 10 Behold I say unto you, do ye suppose that ye cannot worship God save it be in your synagogues only?
 11 And moreover, I would ask, do ye suppose that ye must not worship God only once in a week?
 12 I say unto you, it is well that ye are cast out of your synagogues, that ye may be humble, and that ye may learn wisdom; for it is necessary that ye should learn wisdom; for it is because that ye are cast out, that ye are despised of your brethren because of your exceeding poverty, that ye are brought to a lowliness of heart; for ye are necessarily brought to be humble.
 13 And now, because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved.
 14 And now, as I said unto you, that because ye were compelled to be humble ye were blessed, do ye not suppose that they are more blessed who truly humble themselves because of the word?
 15 Yea, he that truly humbleth himself, and repenteth of his sins, and endureth to the end, the same shall be blessed—yea, much more blessed than they who are compelled to be humble because of their exceeding poverty.
 16 Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth in the word of God, and is baptized without stubbornness of heart, yea, without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know, before they will believe.
 17 Yea, there are many who do say: If thou wilt show unto us a sign from heaven, then we shall know of a surety; then we shall believe.
 18 Now I ask, is this faith? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for if a man knoweth a thing he hath no cause to believe, for he knoweth it.
 19 And now, how much more cursed is he that knoweth the will of God and doeth it not, than he that only believeth, or only hath cause to believe, and falleth into transgression?
 20 Now of this thing ye must judge. Behold, I say unto you, that it is on the one hand even as it is on the other; and it shall be unto every man according to his work.
 21 And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.
 22 And now, behold, I say unto you, and I would that ye should remember, that God is merciful unto all who believe on his name; therefore he desireth, in the first place, that ye should believe, yea, even on his word.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

A Shining Beacon on A Hill

Obviously I'm reading about temples today. This is a really awesome article. I love the stories of the people who attended the dedicatory services for both the Salt Lake Temple and the Jordan River Temple.

“A Shining Beacon on a Hill”: Jordan River Temple Is Dedicated

By JoAnn Jolley
Assistant Editor

A chilly wind buffeted guests arriving for dedicatory services at the new Jordan River Temple on Monday morning, November 16. But the chill soon faded with the warmth of President Marion G. Romney’s greeting: “My dear brothers and sisters, we welcome you to the House of the Lord.” The welcome was extended to some 160,000 Saints seated in the temple and the Tabernacle during fifteen dedicatory sessions November 16–20.

It was the second time in less than ninety years that a temple had been erected in the Salt Lake Valley; the Salt Lake Temple, begun in 1853, was dedicated in April 1893. “Never did most of us dream of such a thing happening,” reflected Donovan H. Van Dam, president of the new Jordan River Temple, in remarks at the opening session. He noted that the Church has already built six temples in Utah, and another so close to Salt Lake’s historical temple was not seriously anticipated. However, he added, “The Lord had plans for further spiritual development nearby.” Construction of the new temple began in June of 1979.

Short hours before the initial service was to begin, news media announcers had predicted that President Spencer W. Kimball would likely remain confined to his room at the Hotel Utah, where he was convalescing following surgery and a lengthy hospitalization. So it was with tears and joy that dedication participants welcomed the president as he entered the Celestial Room just before the service commenced. Following the session he visited each of the temple’s ordinance rooms in a wheelchair, accompanied by President N. Eldon Tanner (also in a wheelchair), President Marion G. Romney, President Gordon B. Hinckley, and other Church and temple administrators.

President Romney, who conducted the session, made brief introductory remarks which reminded the congregation of the sacredness of this occasion. In holy temples, he said, “there have occurred some of the greatest spiritual manifestations recorded in ecclesiastical history. We hope and pray that all who participate in this meeting this day will be spiritually attuned so that you may receive the enlightenment and understanding that can come through the Spirit.”

President Tanner addressed the congregation, pointing out that “This temple has a little different history than others.” He noted that the land upon which the temple was built was given to the Church; also that the entire cost of construction (and maintenance for many years to come) had been donated by Saints in some 134 stakes of the temple district. “We asked the people if they would pay for this edifice—and they said yes.”

“How fortunate we are,” he continued, “as members of the Church, to have a temple in our midst, where we can see it every day.” President Tanner’s counsel to parents was to discuss the temple often with their children and to “teach them to walk uprightly before the Lord.”

Elder Mark E. Petersen called upon us as members of the Church to “dedicate ourselves, as well as this building, to the work of the Lord.” Speaking of our relationship to God, he emphasized that “It is a most natural thing for us to become like our Heavenly Father, because we are his children. We have a spark of divinity which allows us to become his heirs.” Obedience, he said, is the gateway to salvation. “Covenants remind us constantly that indeed we are the children of God. Dare we forget them or disregard them? God has introduced a great new dispensation in these latter days, and we are the custodians of that dispensation.”

The dedicatory prayer, prepared by President Spencer W. Kimball, was read at the first session by President Romney. The prayer was one of gratitude, thanksgiving, and allegiance to a loving Father in Heaven: “We are grateful for the knowledge thou hast given us that thou art our Father. Let us come before thee in sincerity of heart and purity of life. We thank thee for the infinite love manifested in the atoning sacrifice of thy Son.” Fervent pleas were made in behalf of Church leaders, missionaries, and members of the Church who will make the temple “ready to receive thy beloved Son at his second coming. We pray that thou wilt accept this holy edifice, that an atmosphere of holiness will prevail in this, thy house. May all that is done herein be done with an eye single to thy glory and to the building of thy kingdom here on earth.” The edifice, its fixtures, and its exterior surroundings were dedicated to the Lord and his work.

Then came a flurry of white handkerchiefs and the “Hosannah Shout.” The choir performed the “Hosannah Anthem,” and as the congregation stood to join them with “The Spirit of God Like A Fire is Burning,” the Spirit did indeed burn brightly in the hearts of those who had come to the House of the Lord.

Some of those who came shared a unique fellowship. In attendance through the week were more than thirty elderly brethren and sisters who, as youngsters, had participated in the dedication of the Salt Lake Temple nearly nine decades earlier. Most prominent among them was Elder LeGrand Richards of the Quorum of the Twelve. Elder Richards, 96 next month (February), was seven years old when he attended the Salt Lake Temple dedication. “I remember the experience vividly,” he said. “My mother brought us children to the ceremony. I remember the Hosannah shout and President Woodruff offering the dedicatory prayer. Mother had told us so much about the dedication of the Kirtland Temple and the spiritual manifestations at that time, that I was looking for angels all the time. I didn’t see any.”

Albert (“Bert”) Crane was also seven years old in 1893. His familylived in Harriman, Utah—a four-hour buggy ride from Salt Lake City. Seated in the Celestial Room of the Jordan River Temple prior to the first dedicatory session, he recalled that the family arose “very, very early” to make the ride in a white-topped buggy that April morning so long ago. “I remember my mother kept a special crystal dish on her dresser; that was where we children dropped our nickels and dimes, our contributions to the temple. We also gave our Sunday eggs as temple contributions.”

Bert’s mother carried his younger sister Lily, then three months old, to the dedication. Little sister, now Lily Haycock, is in her late eighties. “I don’t remember very much about that dedication,” she chuckled.

Sister Ivy Blood Hill, 94, recalled that her mother shepherded twelve Primary children to the dedication services. “Afterwards, we went to visit Brigham Young’s grave.” Her most vivid memories centered around an incident prior to the temple’s completion. “My father held my hand, and we climbed the scaffolding around the temple towers. He held me up to put a dime into the ball where the Angel Moroni would stand.”

“I remember,” reflected Natalie Thomas Parsons, nearly 94, “how excited I was to sing with a group of Primary children for the dedication. We climbed a very long flight of stairs, way up to the top of the room; that’s where we sang.”

A cousin to President Kimball, Helen Kimball Orgill, 96, now lives in Huntington Beach, California, but traveled from her retirement home there to attend the Jordan River services. She remembered walking, hand-in-hand with members of her Sunday School class, five blocks to the Salt Lake Temple. “Where our seats had been reserved, off to one side, I could look across a very crowded room. I remember looking out over a sea of white handkerchiefs waving; it was quite exciting. But the greatest part was when President Woodruff gave the dedicatory prayer. It was so spiritual.”

Some of the elderly guests had attended the Jordan River open house and toured the temple; others saw it for the first time as they came to the dedication from various parts of the United States. Their collective reaction to this temple of a new generation? “It’s very beautiful.” “Of course,” whispered Sister Haycock with a contagious grin, “there will never be another Salt Lake Temple.”

The Jordan River Temple, despite its proximity to the famous and historical edifice in downtown Salt Lake City, is, said Elder A. Theodore Tuttle of the First Quorum of the Seventy, “destined to become the busiest temple in the Church.” Indeed, if pre-dedication activity is any indication, the Saints will make extensive use of the new temple. Well over half a million people toured the building during a public open house in October; an estimated 15,000 volunteers have participated in all phases of the temple’s preparation; and some 1,500 workers have been called and set apart to serve as the temple begins official operations on January 4.

Already, said President Van Dam, this temple has become “a shining beacon on a hill,” a “jewel in the night. It has become a warm, inviting, throbbing part of mortality—and of immortality. The Lord has caused blessings to flow in so many ways.”

Early in the week, Elder Thomas S. Monson of the Quorum of the Twelve suggested deep spiritual meaning in the physical presence of the temple. He recounted the late Elder Matthew Cowley’s story about a grandfather who took his small granddaughter on a birthday visit to the Salt Lake Temple grounds. With permission of the groundskeeper, they walled to the large doors of the temple. He suggested that she place her hand on the temple wall and then on the door, saying tenderly to her, “Remember that this day you touched the temple. One day you will enter this door.” His special gift to his granddaughter was an appreciation for the House of the Lord. Likewise, counseled Elder Monson, “As we touch the temple, the temple will touch us.”

Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples

April 2009 Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples
by Elder Gary E. Stevenson of the First Quorum of the Seventy

Recently, in a stake conference, all present were invited by the visiting authority, Elder Glen Jenson, an Area Seventy, to take a virtual tour of their homes using their spiritual eyes. I would like to invite each of you to do this also. Wherever your home may be and whatever its configuration, the application of eternal gospel principles within its walls is universal. Let’s begin. Imagine that you are opening your front door and walking inside your home. What do you see, and how do you feel? Is it a place of love, peace, and refuge from the world, as is the temple? Is it clean and orderly? As you walk through the rooms of your home, do you see uplifting images which include appropriate pictures of the temple and the Savior? Is your bedroom or sleeping area a place for personal prayer? Is your gathering area or kitchen a place where food is prepared and enjoyed together, allowing uplifting conversation and family time? Are scriptures found in a room where the family can study, pray, and learn together? Can you find your personal gospel study space? Does the music you hear or the entertainment you see, online or otherwise, offend the Spirit? Is the conversation uplifting and without contention? That concludes our tour. Perhaps you, as I, found a few spots that need some “home improvement”—hopefully not an “extreme home makeover.”

C S Lewis

I have not read the Four Loves but I loved this quote. I don't think I've ever picked a place to live out of mere coincidence. The friends I've found, were put in my life for a reason.
"But in Friendship... we think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years’ difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, posting to different regiments, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting – any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,' can truly say 'You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.' The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others."
-C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Eternal Families

Elder Eyring, Eternal families
April 2016

As we are faithful in our service to help Heavenly Father’s children to go home to Him, we will qualify for the greeting we all so much want to hear when we finish our earthly ministry. These are the words: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matthew 25:21).
Among those “many things” is the promise of an endless posterity. My prayer is that we may all qualify and help others to qualify for that supernal blessing in the home of our Father and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ.

The promise of an endless posterity sounds so comforting. There are times itprobably would have overwhelm me, but now it is a quiet reasurement that postpartum depression isn't an eternal thing.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Alma 13: 28-29

Alma 13
28 But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering;
29 Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Sunday Best

Elder Holland
Tomorrow The Lord Will Do Wonders Among You
April 2016

Brothers and sisters, do you have any idea—do you have any notion or inkling whatsoever—of how much we love you? For 10 hours you watch, fixed on one face at this pulpit sequentially, but for those same 10 hours, we seated behind this pulpit watch, fixed on you. You thrill us to the center of our soul, whether that be the 21,000 here in the Conference Center, or multitudes in meetinghouses and chapels, or finally millions in homes around the globe, perhaps huddled around a family computer screen. Here you are, there you are, hour after hour, in your Sunday best, being your best. You sing and you pray. You listen and you believe. You are the miracle of this Church. And we love you.

I've been contemplating this for 2 weeks. "in your Sunday best, being your best."

Friday, April 8, 2016

I am a Child of God By Elder Donald L. Hallstrom

I am a Child of God
By Elder Donald L. Hallstrom
Of the Presidency of the Seventy

Elder Holland said, “You can have what you want, or you can have something better.”

We are moving, and though physically I've worked so hard to get house on the market, emotionally I've been kicking my feet. I don't really want to move, I like my house and at least 16 potential buyers do not, at least not enough to buy it. I guess 10 liked it but went other ways. While probably 6 did not like it. So I like my house, I like where I live. I like the mountains. Etc etc
This would be what I want.
But I guess since the answers to prayer and fasting have been to move at some point the Lord has something better for me.

President Thomas S. Monson testified: “We are sons and daughters of a living God. … We cannot sincerely hold this conviction without experiencing a profound new sense of strength and power.”
This doctrine is so basic, so oft stated, and so instinctively simple that it can seem to be ordinary, when in reality it is among the most extraordinary knowledge we can obtain. A correct understanding of our heavenly heritage is essential to exaltation. It is foundational to comprehending the glorious plan of salvation and to nurturing faith in the Firstborn of the Father, Jesus the Christ, and in His merciful Atonement. Further, it provides continual motivation for us to make and keep our indispensable eternal covenants.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Two Weeks ago

On Sunday the High Counselor spoke. I was very grateful to hear his talk. It was about the importance of when to speak up and when to remain silent. The scriptures are full of examples when individuals remained silent in the present of opposition and examples of times when the spirit constrained someone to speak up.
It was a really great talk and I hope I remember it. I had been thinking about this topic lately. So I felt like to topic was especially timely.

Yielding Our Hearts to God

Have you read/listened to Neill F. Marriott's conference talk: Yielding Our Hearts to God? Its amazing, and I've wanted to blog about it for weeks, but posting the whole talk didn't quite seem fitting. So here is one tidbit:

When we open ourselves to the Spirit, we learn God’s way and feel His will. During the sacrament, which I call the heart of the Sabbath, I have found that after I pray for forgiveness of sins, it is instructive for me to ask Heavenly Father, “Father, is there more?” When we are yielded and still, our minds can be directed to something more we may need to change—something that is limiting our capacity to receive spiritual guidance or even healing and help.
So I thought ok, I'm going to do this. 
Then on Sunday and I'm sitting in the sacrament, and I think I should ask is there more? I thought I can't do that, I can't handle MORE. Eventually I took some deep breaths and started my silent prayer, I said, Father in Heaven, I can't ask if there is more, I have too much, I can have MORE. But I do want to be obedient, I'm not ready for the answer, but I should I be???
The Lord is wise and usually will not tell me an answer when I specifically ask him not to. But if I've found if I am praying about it part of me does want to know the answer so he eventually answers. A few minutes later, I was told to try and read my scriptures daily. I'm always trying to read my scriptures daily, but my previous week had been more than spotty. I love his response. I didn't want MORE, so instead I got simplicity. Studying your scriptures usually requires you to cut something out of your time, not add something into it. 

The conference talk right after Sister Marriott's was perfect. He continues on the same though. It was Larry R. Lawrence, What Lack I Yet?
The journey of discipleship is not an easy one. It has been called a “course of steady improvement.”2 As we travel along that strait and narrow path, the Spirit continually challenges us to be better and to climb higher. The Holy Ghost makes an ideal traveling companion. If we are humble and teachable, He will take us by the hand and lead us home.
However, we need to ask the Lord for directions along the way. We have to ask some difficult questions, like “What do I need to change?” “How can I improve?” “What weakness needs strengthening?”
President Harold B. Lee taught, “Every one of us, if we would reach perfection, must [at] one time ask ourselves this question, ‘What lack I yet?’”
He then gives examples of people who were inspired to fix little things, like not complaining, not using crude phrases, to stop interrupting people, keeping the Sabbath day holy, cleaning our room.

The next part of the talk is what I needed as a follow up to "Is there more?"

The Holy Ghost doesn’t tell us to improve everything at once. If He did, we would become discouraged and give up. The Spirit works with us at our own speed, one step at a time, or as the Lord has taught, “line upon line, precept upon precept, … and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, … for unto him that receiveth I will give more.”6 For example, if the Holy Ghost has been prompting you to say “thank you” more often, and you respond to that prompting, then He may feel it’s time for you to move on to something more challenging—like learning to say, “I’m sorry; that was my fault.”
A perfect time to ask, “What lack I yet?” is when we take the sacrament.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Richard G Scott- Making the Right Choices

You can’t please God without upsetting Satan, so you will get pressure from those he tempts to do wrong.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Went about doing good

For book group this month, we read Finding Inner Peace: Lessons Learned from Trying Too Hard, by Brent L Top and Wendy C Top. I was really glad I read page 54:
The New Testament does not tell us that Christ did every possible good thing but simply that he "went about doing good" (Acts 10:38). Being good and doing the best we can--whatever that may be--is doing "all we can do" (2 Nephi 25:23) that will lead to our salvation and ultimate perfection. President Brigham Young declared: "Those who do right, and seek the glory of the Father in heaven...whether they can do little or much, if they do the very best they know how, they are perfect... (Desert News Weekly, 8/31/1854)

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Ether 12:26-27

26 And when I had said this, the Lord spake unto me, saying: Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness;
 27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
 28 Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all righteousness.
 29 And I, Moroni, having heard these words, was comforted, and said: O Lord, thy righteous will be done, for I know that thou workest unto the children of men according to their faith;

My Mission Is to Bless by President Eyring

Last summer there was a talk titled, "My Mission is to Bless," given by President Henry B. Eyring at Mission President training. It floated around the internet for a while. I really like what he said it the beginning and it has really stuck with me. I keep wondering how I can better integrate his words into my family life.

“It is faith in the Lord that brings people to true repentance. 
It is faith in Jesus Christ that leads them to be baptized. 
It is faith in the Savior that leads them and all of us to always remember Him and thus have the Holy Ghost as our companion. 
And it is faith that will motivate us to pray always to the Father that we will not be overcome.
“Our greatest opportunity and our greatest challenge is to bear witness that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God, and that He gave His life for the sins of each of us.”

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Howard W. Hunter Lesson 3

Adversity Part of Gods Plan for our Eternal Progress
The scriptures … indicate that there will be seasons of time when the whole world will have some difficulty. We know that in our dispensation unrighteousness will, unfortunately, be quite evident, and it will bring its inevitable difficulties and pain and punishment. God will cut short that unrighteousness in his own due time, but our task is to live fully and faithfully and not worry ourselves sick about the woes of the world or when it will end. Our task is to have the gospel in our lives and to be a bright light, a city set on the hill, which reflects the beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the joy and happiness that will always come to every people in every age who keep the commandments.

Monday, February 8, 2016

Mary or Martha?

Yesterday at church a friend pointed to a picture of Mary and Martha on the wall. (That is a requirement for LDS Relief Society Rooms right? To have a picture of Mary and Martha) said, based on our actions I think most of think we came to earth to be Marthas. We act like our divine purpose is to clean our houses, be busy and do laundry. 

I know that isn't true, but that is definitely what my actions imply. I get mad at my children from preventing me from getting my house work done, preventing me from baking when I want to, preventing me from having a spotless house.

Why am I not choosing the better part?

Luke 10
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
 I love this commentary of the story:

“What he did say is difficult to bear, but perhaps somewhat less difficult if we examine its context. In the same way that the father in the parable of the prodigal son acknowledges his elder son’s faithfulness, the Lord acknowledges Martha’s care: Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things’ (v. 41). Then he delivers the gentle but clear rebuke. But the rebuke would not have come had Martha not prompted it. The Lord did not go into the kitchen and tell Martha to stop cooking and come listen. Apparently he was content to let her serve him however she cared to, until she judged another person’s service: “Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me’ (v. 40). Martha’s self-importance, expressed through her judgment of her sister, occasioned the Lord’s rebuke, not her busyness with the meal.”
(Catherine Corman Parry, Associate Professor of English, Brigham Young University, BYU Devotional Talk, 7 May 1991 Wilkinson Center Ballroom) reference
Which I agree with that. Honestly when I think about my testimony, and I think about the Savior, I don't think he loved Mary more than Martha. I don't think Mary was better, I think they were just different and that is ok and good too. I think the Lord loves us as we are and hopes we find the path that leads us to the better part. As I've contemplated how to keep the Sabbath day holy as a family, I decided cleaning our living room was utmost importance. I literally can not feel the spirit during family time if I'm laying in crumbs. But obviously there is reason and balance in everything, and if you don't feel worthy to feel the spirit because your to do list isn't finished then maybe your life needs a different order.  I'll be honest, its hard to sit down and read the scriptures when my house hasn't been cleaned. At this stage of life,  the crumbs will always be among us, so I should study the scripture first. Not to mention its far easier to sweep when the house is loud, so if there is quiet, I should probably pick up my Book of Mormon first. 

Mary and Martha—Faithful Sisters, Devoted Disciples
By Evelyn T. Marshall
For years I have mistakenly assumed that Mary sat at Jesus’ feet while Martha worked in the kitchen. Not so. In verse 39 Luke carefully explains that Martha “had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.” (Luke 10:39; italics added.) They bothsat there to hear the words of eternal life from their Lord. It is appropriate, therefore, that these three appear on the 1987 Relief Society study guide cover which entreats sisters everywhere to “learn of me.” (Matt. 11:29.) Mary and Martha were doing just that, learning of the Savior—together.
But then, that which comes to all of us must have occurred to this trio of friends—they became hungry. It was Martha, the caring hostess, who provided repast for her remarkable visitor. In addition, Martha felt she needed assistance and asked Jesus to ask Mary to help her. Which woman among us, when faced with similar circumstances, has not made a similar plea?
Luke records that “Martha was cumbered about much serving.” (Luke 10:40; italics added.) Obviously these two sisters did not have prior notice of Jesus’ arrival at their home, so they had no chance to prepare a meal. We cannot indict Martha for wanting to serve the best to her Lord. Women throughout the Church are serving the best they have to General Authorities and other visitors who similarly travel to teach the eternal truths of this same Jesus.
The question here is one of priorities. Even special meals can become too complicated if we spend hours frosting the petit fours instead of planning more simply-prepared food. Do we spend more time planning and executing a lavish Sunday dinner forfamily members than we do studying the scriptures that day? Do we value a perfectly clean home over spending time teaching and loving our children? The story of Mary and Martha, observes Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “reminds every Martha, male and female, that we should not be so occupied with what is routine and temporal that we fail to cherish the opportunities that are unique and spiritual.” (Ensign, Nov. 1985, p. 61.)
Jesus’ gentle reproval to Martha is much the same as any loving parent would speak to an upset child: “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things.” (Luke 10:41.) The footnote clarifies thatcareful means worried. Martha was indeed concerned about what to serve and how to entertain the Son of God. Perhaps Martha is “Everywoman” in her desire to be hospitable and caring in this situation.
How are we “cumbered” today? Are household tasks a hindrance and burdensome? Are we disorganized, frustrated, overstressed? Are we victims of crises, reacting to pressures of time and circumstance rather than acting to control them?
Just as Mary and Martha had distinct personalities, so are each of us individuals with our own strengths, weaknesses, and talents. As with Mary and Martha, it is often easy for us to judge others, and even ourselves, in unfair light. We need to learn the lesson these two sisters teach us: we need balance in our lives. While we are to perform the necessary tasks, we need also to seek the “good part” and learn the truths of the gospel.

I'm positive if you know me, or you've read my blogs, you've heard this story. When I had a new baby, and an under 2 year old boy. I thought all that mattered was I cooked a healthy dinner for my family. I got in my head, a healthy dinner was the end all be all of my creation. And, secondly I needed to bath my children at least three times a week. Now mind you I had a infant who couldn't hold himself up, a one year old, and a barely 5 year old. That meant I was bathing three children three times a week, and the infant was not able to bathe with the older kids, I was loosing my mind. Although I often thought if I was a better mother I'd be bathing my infant daily. (I won't get into that bizarre thought, and they don't even recommend that anymore, but still my thoughts.) Then General Conference (April 2014) came around and Sister Reeves said this:
Some of you have heard me tell how overwhelmed my husband, Mel, and I felt as the parents of four young children. As we faced the challenges of parenting and keeping up with the demands of life, we were desperate for help. We prayed and pleaded to know what to do. The answer that came was clear: “It is OK if the house is a mess and the children are still in their pajamas and some responsibilities are left undone. The only things that really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening.”
We were trying to do these things, but they were not always the priority and, amidst the chaos, were sometimes neglected. We changed our focus and tried not to worry about the less-important things. Our focus became to talk, rejoice, preach, and testify of Christ by striving to daily pray and study the scriptures and have weekly family home evening.
I didn't quite know how to change at first. I didn't know how to have scripture study after I was so tired from cooking. The spirit told me, feed them cold cereal. I had the inspiration that said, cold cereal with a family prayer is more important the the healthiest meal. We were only have scripture study a few times a week, because I couldn't figure out how to scripture study and bathe so many kids. I came to terms that two baths a week is better if we are reading scriptures daily. We often have prayer and scripture study in the hallway while the two little boys are in the bath. I mentioned something about this in Relief Society, and another lady said, well bathing is important too. I quickly responded not as important as prayer.
I also love what Bonnie D. Parkin's said in October 2003
Mary and Martha are you and me; they are every sister in Relief Society. These two loved the Lord and wanted to show that love. On this occasion, it seems to me that Mary expressed her love by hearing His word, while Martha expressed hers by serving Him.
I do not think Martha or Mary was better a person. They were both different. I just really needed to hear, I am not better than my children because I choose to clean the house.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

The Challenge to Become by Elder Oaks

Our needed conversions are often achieved more readily by suffering and adversity than by comfort and tranquillity, as Elder Hales taught us so beautifully this morning. Father Lehi promised his son Jacob that God would “consecrate [his] afflictions for [his] gain” (2 Ne. 2:2). The Prophet Joseph was promised that “thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (D&C 121:7–8).

Most of us experience some measure of what the scriptures call “the furnace of affliction” (Isa. 48:101 Ne. 20:10). Some are submerged in service to a disadvantaged family member. Others suffer the death of a loved one or the loss or postponement of a righteous goal like marriage or childbearing. Still others struggle with personal impairments or with feelings of rejection, inadequacy, or depression. Through the justice and mercy of a loving Father in Heaven, the refinement and sanctification possible through such experiences can help us achieve what God desires us to become.

Fathers, Mothers, Marriage

The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation.
First Presidency Message by President James E. Faust "Fathers, Mothers, Marriage."
 August 2004

Focus of the Strengths

“Your influence will be unending as you focus on the strengths of others rather than their weaknesses and mistakes. Our hearts and our eyes should concentrate on the positive things in life and in our fellowman. . . . As you share your kind, loving, tolerant, and positive attitude towards life, you will bless your spouses and children and grandchildren, your nieces and nephews and friends, and countless others who feel the radiance of your optimism and testimony” (Harriet Uchtdorf, The Light We Share)

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Post Dated Quotes

I was printing off quotes and scriptures for the past few months. I'm ready to declutter my fridge so here they are:

Alma 5:26
And now Behold, I say unto you, my brethren if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?

1 Nephi 1:20
But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their FAITH, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17
Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is Holy, which temple ye are.

Moroni 10:32
Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him.

Luke 2:10
...Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Chosen to Bear Testimony of My Name by Elder David A. Bednar

When Elder Bednar tells us what Elder Hales told him, my eyes start leaking and continue through most of the talk. I will not say the rest of the talk is talking about me, but when he reports what Elder Hales answer is, I thought yes, I have found that too.
Elder Hales paused for a moment and responded, “When you cannot do what you have always done, then you only do what matters most.”
I have witnessed repeatedly my Brethren striving diligently to fulfill and magnify their responsibilities while struggling with serious physical problems. These men are not spared from affliction. Rather, they are blessed and strengthened to press forward valiantly while suffering in and with affliction.
I am blessed to observe on a daily basis the individual personalities, capacities, and noble characters of these leaders. Some people find the human shortcomings of the Brethren troubling and faith diminishing. For me those imperfections are encouraging and faith promoting.
These valiant Brethren devoted their “whole souls” (Omni 1:26) to testifying of the name of Jesus Christ in all the world.
Like I said, I am not saying the rest of the talk is a description of me but I do love that phrase,  “When you cannot do what you have always done, then you only do what matters most.” The other day someone asked me my hobbies, literally had no idea what to say. I couldn't come up with anything, sure I use to like to sew, I use to read, but literally all I do is take care of my children, myself and go to church. I haven't been able to do what I've always done, so I can only do what Sister Reeves told me to do. I can not tell you how many things I cut out of our lives after Sister Reeves's talk. 
I listened to multiple moms say, I'm not sure what I'm going to do when my next baby comes. My response is always the same, nothing. You are going to sit on your couch and hold your baby and child, because soon they will grow up so you will never regret holding them on the couch all day. Literally nothing else matters. That's my hobby, holding my babies. 

Friday, January 15, 2016

“Because She Is a Mother” Jeffrey R. Holland

My friend recommended this talk. As I listened to the talk, I thought this is a terrible talk, I do not feel worthy of it, I felt unequal to the task. But then Elder Holland address that,
One young mother wrote to me recently that her anxiety tended to come on three fronts. One was that whenever she heard talks on LDS motherhood, she worried because she felt she didn’t measure up or somehow wasn’t going to be equal to the task. Secondly, she felt like the world expected her to teach her children reading, writing, interior design, Latin, calculus, and the Internet—all before the baby said something terribly ordinary, like “goo goo.” Thirdly, she often felt people were sometimes patronizing, almost always without meaning to be, because the advice she got or even the compliments she received seemed to reflect nothing of the mental investment, the spiritual and emotional exertion, the long-night, long-day, stretched-to-the-limit demands that sometimes are required in trying to be and wanting to be the mother God hopes she will be.
Yeah, that seems to sum up some of my problems right now. She continues on saying,
Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes we will be anxious,” she said, “and willplead for His help. Then, I believe, He can teach these children directly, through us, but with no resistance offered. I like that idea,” she concludes. “It gives me hope.
Yes, that is the take home message I've discovered over the past few months, my anxiety helps me turn to him, and recognize his hand always outstretched instead of thinking I'm amazing and doing it all on my own.
Moved by that kind of devotion and determination, may I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can make in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do.
Sometimes the decision of a child or a grandchild will break your heart. Sometimes expectations won’t immediately be met. Every mother and father worries about that. Even that beloved and wonderfully successful parent President Joseph F. Smith pled, “Oh! God, let me not lose my own.” 8 That is every parent’s cry, and in it is something of every parent’s fear. But no one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying. You have every right to receive encouragement and to know in the end your children will call your name blessed, just like those generations of foremothers before you who hoped your same hopes and felt your same fears.
When you have come to the Lord in meekness and lowliness of heart and, as one mother said, “pounded on the doors of heaven to ask for, to plead for, to demand guidance and wisdom and help for this wondrous task,” that door is thrown open to provide you the influence and the help of all eternity. Claim the promises of the Savior of the world. Ask for the healing balm of the Atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children. Know that in faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you.
You can’t possibly do this alone, but you do have help. The Master of Heaven and Earth is there to bless you—He who resolutely goes after the lost sheep, sweeps thoroughly to find the lost coin, waits everlastingly for the return of the prodigal son. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.
Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.” 11 You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, “Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.” 12 And it will make your children whole as well.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Finding Ourselves in Lehi’s Dream By President Boyd K. Packer

Finding Ourselves in Lehi’s Dream By President Boyd K. Packer
August 2010
If you hold to the rod, you can feel your way forward with the gift of the Holy Ghost, conferred upon you at the time you were confirmed a member of the Church. The Holy Ghost will comfort you. You will be able to feel the influence of angels, as Nephi did, and feel your way through life.
The Book of Mormon has been my iron rod.
The mist of darkness will cover you at times so much that you will not be able to see your way even a short distance ahead. You will not be able to see clearly. But with the gift of the Holy Ghost, you can feel your way ahead through life. Grasp the iron rod, and do not let go. (See 3 Nephi 18:25; D&C 9:8.)
“For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:4–5).
All of the things that you need to know are there. Read it, and make it a part of your life. Then the criticism or mocking of the world, mocking those in the Church, will be of no concern to you as it is of no concern to us (see 1 Nephi 8:33). We just move forward doing the things that we are called to do and know that the Lord is guiding us.
If you hold to the rod, you can feel your way forward with the gift of the Holy Ghost. Grasp the iron rod, and do not let go.

Common Goal

This is not a pondering post. But since I mentioned marriage articles, I thought I'd share what my fall was spent doing. Thinking about my hopes and desires for my life, and then finding a common goal with my husband. I didn't have to write a new common goal, I just had to remember when we were dating and newlyweds. Sometimes under the stress of life, we forget the beginning.
I have it hanging in our bathroom so its something I see very morning and every night before going to bed. It took my husband a while to notice it, but then he got a good laugh out of it.

Better than Articles from Marriage Counselors

In the past year I've been a little obsessed with reading articles written by marriage counselors. Its not that my marriage has problems, I adore my husband, and I seems to be as happy as a clam, its just babies and toddlers are proven to lower satisfaction in a marriage, and you add depression in one of the spouses and we have a lot pilled on us. Yesterday as I listened to conference talks I thought forget those marriage articles I just need to follow this advice. (I can't forget marriage articles I'm obsessed, but I will be more mindful of the Lord's servants.)

The first talk I listened to was what came on next on my phone feed. 

My Heart Pondereth Them Continually By Devin G. Durrant
Another idea you might try is sharing your verse with a sibling, a child, or a friend. My wife, Julie, and I help each other. We choose our verses each Sunday. ... We then share thoughts about our verses throughout the week. We also like to discuss our verses with our children. As we do, it seems to make it more comfortable for them to share their thoughts with us about the word of God.
I'm not honestly that concerned if my husband decided to "ponderize" a scripture each week. But I keep reading about the importance of rituals in your marriage, and when I was listening to that talk I realize that is what we need to add to our marriage. The ritual of talking about conference talks and scriptures more often. So I asked my husband to share a few times a week with me something that stood out in his studies.

I was also listening to

With All the Feeling of a Tender Parent: A Message of Hope to Families by Robert D. Hales
In it he says, we need to 1. Hold Family Councils
What really stood out to me was, we need to have individual councils with our children. I thought 4 kids, one kid each sunday for 20 minutes with both their parents.
Without this one-on-one counseling together with our children, they are prone to believe that Dad and Mom, or Grandpa and Grandma, don’t understand or care about the challenges they are facing. As we listen with love and refrain from interrupting, the Spirit will help us learn how we can be of help to our children and teach them.
2. Sometimes when our teachings aren’t heeded and when our expectations are not met, we need to remind ourselves to leave the door to our hearts open
Lately, I've been terrified of my children growing up and disappointing me. This stems from my fear that they will grow up and be disappointed in me. I know so many adults who thought their parents did a really crappy job and I just hope my children don't feel like that one day but I don't have much hope because so few adults I know have positive things to say about their parents. But the only way for them not to disappoint me is if I leave the door to my heart open. They will never make all the choices I would have, because we are all different people.
In the parable of the prodigal son, we find a powerful lesson for families and especially parents. After the younger son “came to himself,” 12 he decided to go home.
How did he know his father wouldn’t reject him? Because he knew his father. Through the inevitable misunderstandings, conflicts, and follies of the son’s youth, I can visualize his father being there with an understanding and compassionate heart, a soft answer, a listening ear, and a forgiving embrace. I can also imagine his son knowing he could come home because he knew the kind of home that was awaiting him. For the scriptures say, “When he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.” 13
I testify that our Heavenly Father leaves the door open. I also testify that it is never too late to open the door between us and our children with simple words such as “I love you,” “I am sorry,” and “Please forgive me.” We can begin now to create a home they will want to return to—not only now but in the eternities.
We can also help our obedient children leave the door of forgiveness open by expressing our love and appreciation to them and by helping them rejoice in the repentance of their siblings.
That last paragraph is a HUGE one for me. I felt like that whole thing should be bold. I'm not exactly sure why, but it is screaming to me I am important. Do this as a mother!
What a joy and blessing to have the Spirit in our homes! And what a blessing it is to invite it through prayer, studying the scriptures, speaking kindly, and showing appreciation to one another! Let us prepare our teaching moments by praying as Alma prayed for his son, “with much faith” 15 and all the energy of our souls; by fasting, searching the scriptures, repenting of our sins, and allowing the Holy Ghost to fill our hearts with love, forgiveness, and compassion. And then it will fill our homes. Then, let us trust the Good Shepherd.

Not ready for 8

So the other day on my personal blog, I wrote I'm not ready for my daughter to turn 8. As I've been reading First Nephi, I realized why, if Lehi was a prophet, and he could even get his son's to choose the right, I feel like I'm doomed. I don't like the idea that life is just chance.
As I've started over reading the Book of Mormon this year, I've been reading it along with this book, I got over Christmas.
 Its really been quite helpful for me. I can read the Book of Mormon over and over, but I can't study the scriptures without a study guide to help. Anyway the editor complied some quotes referencing conference talks that have really helped me as my heart bleeds for Lehi and Sariah. (Sure our story ends early and we don't really know what the last act is.)

The first talk I read was With All the Feelings of a Tender Parent by Robert D. Hales
It was what I needed to get on board with my children growing up.
Father Lehi had such courage. He loved his family and rejoiced that some of his children kept the Lord’s commandments. But he must have been heartbroken when his sons “Laman and Lemuel partook not of the fruit” representing the love of God. “He exceedingly feared for [them]; yea, he feared lest they should be cast off from the presence of the Lord.” 4
Every parent faces moments of such fear. However, when we exercise our faith by teaching our children and doing what we can to help them, our fears will diminish. Lehi girded up his loins, and with faith “he did exhort [his children] with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, that perhaps the Lord would be merciful to them.” And “he bade them to keep the commandments of the Lord.” 5
We too must have the faith to teach our children and bid them to keep the commandments. We should not let their choices weaken our faith. Our worthiness will not be measured according to their righteousness. Lehi did not lose the blessing of feasting at the tree of life because Laman and Lemuel refused to partake of its fruit. Sometimes as parents we feel we have failed when our children make mistakes or stray. Parents are never failures when they do their best to love, teach, pray, and care for their children. Their faith, prayers, and efforts will be consecrated to the good of their children.
I guess I need to get on board. Maybe I should ponderize this for a week,
I join with faithful parents everywhere in declaring that we know who we are, we understand our responsibilities as parents, and we do not fear the wrath of the prince of darkness. We trust in the light of the Lord.
Like Jochebed, we raise our families in a wicked and hostile world—a world as dangerous as the courts of Egypt ruled by Pharaoh. But, like Jochebed, we also weave around our children a protective basket—a vessel called “the family”—and guide them to safe places where our teachings can be reinforced in the home and at church.
Ultimately, we guide them to the greatest of all houses of learning—the holy temple, where one day they can kneel, surrounded by their faithful family members, to be sealed for time and all eternity to a worthy companion. What they learned from us, they will teach their children, and the work of eternal families will go on.
Along the way, at times when our children are away from us, the Lord provides inspired “Miriams” to watch over them—special third-party helpers such as priesthood and auxiliary leaders, teachers, extended family, and worthy friends. Sometimes the Spirit prompts us as parents to seek special help beyond ourselves through such resources as doctors and qualified counselors. The Spirit will direct when and how such help should be obtained.
Thank heavens, for friends, aunts, grandmas, grandpas, school teachers, piano teacher, church teachers, church friends and other people who also love my children, because I am just not up to the task to loving them alone.
He will help us trust and honor the principles of agency, opposition, and the Atonement even when our children make unwise decisions. Through His Spirit, He will help us teach our children to meet every challenge, trial, and tribulation in life by remembering who they are—children of God. We will be inspired with ways to help them “put on the whole armour of God,” 18 so that they can withstand the “fiery darts of the adversary” 19 with the “shield of faith” 20 and “the sword of the Spirit.” 21 As our children are spiritually armed and strengthened, He will bless them to endure faithfully to the end and return home, worthy to stand and live in their Heavenly Father’s presence forever.
Through it all, we will sorrow to see our family members suffer the slings and arrows of mortality. But we will stand all amazed at the love our Savior offers them. Because of Him, the buffetings need not defeat and destroy them but can soften, strengthen, and sanctify them.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Carrying Loads

I saw this on FB.

But after a title like that, I of course have to follow up with this quote from Elder Bednar:

Our Individual Load
I pray for the assistance of the Holy Ghost as I emphasize vital lessons that can be learned from this story about my friend, the truck, and the wood. It was the load. It was the load of wood that provided the traction necessary for him to get out of the snow, to get back on the road, and to move forward. It was the load that enabled him to return to his family and his home.
Each of us also carries a load. Our individual load is comprised of demands and opportunities, obligations and privileges, afflictions and blessings, and options and constraints. Two guiding questions can be helpful as we periodically and prayerfully assess our load: “Is the load I am carrying producing the spiritual traction that will enable me to press forward with faith in Christ on the strait and narrow path and avoid getting stuck? Is the load I am carrying creating sufficient spiritual traction so I ultimately can return home to Heavenly Father?”
Sometimes we mistakenly may believe that happiness is the absence of a load. But bearing a load is a necessary and essential part of the plan of happiness. Because our individual load needs to generate spiritual traction, we should be careful to not haul around in our lives so many nice but unnecessary things that we are distracted and diverted from the things that truly matter most.
Farther in his talk he continues:
Recall the Savior’s statement “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:30) as we consider the next verse in the account of Alma and his people.“And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs” (Mosiah 24:14).Many of us may assume this scripture is suggesting that a burden suddenly and permanently will be taken away. The next verse, however, describes how the burden was eased.“And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea,the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15; emphasis added).The challenges and difficulties were not immediately removed from the people. But Alma and his followers were strengthened, and their increased capacity made the burdens lighter. These good people were empowered through the Atonement to act as agents (see D&C 58:26–29) and impact their circumstances. And “in the strength of the Lord” (Words of Mormon 1:14; Mosiah 9:17; 10:10; Alma 20:4),  
For a very long time, I thought the Lord would eventually take away my burden. I kept putting limits on it, after I wean the baby, after 6 weeks has passed, once school is out, the doctor says, 6 months, waiting waiting waiting. Eventually it will fade, but I'm trying to understand the principle of having my burdened eased not taken away. Its a hard concept. Especially when people tell me accepting it, makes you never want to get better.  Oh believe me I want to get better, but I can't sit around in the waiting room, waiting for things to get better. I have to act upon my circumstances even if my body doesn't cooperate.
This all just reinforces the first picture/quote.